Ward off those nosy questions
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9 February 2010, The Sunday Times, Rebecca Lynne Tan
Ward off those nosy questions during Lunar New Year
For some people, the most dreaded time of the year is here again. Chinese New Year is a time when singles and childless couples are bombarded with intrusive questions from nosy relatives, whom they usually meet only during the festive season.
The embarrassing inquisition is endured by those in their mid-20s to those well into their late 40s.
The questions are incessant and deeply personal. "Aren't you too old to be receiving hongbao (red packets)?" "When are you tying the knot?" "No children yet? What are you waiting for?"
Sales manager Eileen Tan, who is unmarried, finds the much ado over her marital status so intense and intrusive that she makes it a point to travel overseas during Chinese New Year, and has done so for the past five years.
Says the 42-year-old: "I am a single, working woman. I am independent, I support myself. I really do not need to be answering their silly questions about love and marriage."
She has been asked the same questions over and over again for about 15 years. And each year, she says, her relatives seem more exasperated with her nonchalant replies.
Forty-one-year-old Chew Kwee San, director of an investment company - and who has yet to marry his longtime girlfriend - knows these questions only too well.
He says: "The less well these relatives know you, the more intrusive they are. And the only way to keep them quiet is to shock them."
His strategy? Be glib, flippant and border-line rude if need be, he says jokingly.
So why are older folk so concerned with the personal details of the young?
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Just joke to stop them from asking is the best.
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It's been Asian ways of being friendly. Now westernise, that's intrusion of privacy.
Generation gap.
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To me, it depends on how genuine the person is when asking sensitive questions. I will answer sincerely if the person truly means well
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
To me, it depends on how genuine the person is when asking sensitive questions. I will answer sincerely if the person truly means well
In old days, it's pretty normal. Such are the questions they asked.